Understanding Attachment Styles

In this episode, Lisa and Dr. Lidia Martinez discuss John Bolby's theory of attachment styles. These styles are formed from childhood and inform how we relate to important people in our lives. Knowing our attachment styles can help us to recognize our weaknesses, draw closer to God, and address any hurt or baggage from our past. Dr. Lydia explains that imprinting is an example of the attachment style, citing the example of ducklings and their mother. She also references the cartoon, Curious George, where George sits on a bunch of eggs, and the hatchlings follow him around the episode. Knowing our attachment styles can help us in our relationships, and ultimately draw us closer to God.

John Bowlby's theory of attachment has four categories: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Secure attachment is characterized by comfort in close relationships and reliance on support from others. Anxious attachment is characterized by high levels of emotional intimacy but insecurity and fear of abandonment. Avoidant attachment is characterized by prioritizing self-reliance over emotional intimacy. Disorganized attachment is characterized by a desire to connect with others but fear of rejection or hurt. This theory can be applied to Christianity, where we have a secure attachment to our Father and He helps us through the Holy Spirit to connect with other people. In moments of anxious attachment, we can rely on God for comfort and support.

The discussion focuses on attachment styles in relation to God and how to develop a secure attachment with Him. It is stated that while good behavior and prayer can lead to a secure attachment, the Gospel tells us that we are fully known and deeply loved by God regardless of what we do. It is also shared that when facing situations such as a cancer diagnosis, it can lead to a mourning process and different attachment styles including anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. The conversation suggests that prayer and asking for the Holy Spirit to interpret our prayers can help us express our needs to God in difficult times. Ultimately, it is hoped that each experience will lead us back to a secure attachment with God.

The conversation focuses on the idea of having a secure attachment with God. It is noted that God is always with us and is stable, while we are the ones that waver. It is also noted that having a connection with God is important in order to have feelings for other people and to be able to show compassion and empathy. The speaker references Ephesians 4:32 as an example of how to live and to forgive others as God has forgiven us. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of having a secure attachment with God in order to relate to others and live a life of love and forgiveness.

Timestamps

0:00:00

Therapy Thursday: Exploring the Four Basic Attachment Styles with Dr. Lydia Martinez

0:04:05

Discussion on Attachment Theory and its Relation to Christianity

0:06:18

Discussion on Attachment Styles with God

0:08:40

Topic: Establishing a Secure Attachment with God Through Prayer and the Word

0:10:07

Discussion on Forgiveness and Attachment Theory in Relation to Our Relationship with God

0:14:17