Developing Skills for Deeper Relationships (Part 1)

Lisa and Dr. Lydia Martinez discussed the ten skills needed to develop healthy and meaningful relationships. They began by discussing active listening, which is an important skill for good communication. Active listening is different from just hearing someone and moving on, and it is important to focus on the other person's feelings and experiences. Other skills needed for healthy relationships include empathy, understanding body language, being able to express yourself, setting boundaries, and being able to apologize when needed. With these skills, people can better connect with each other and form meaningful relationships.

The conversation between two people discussed the importance of being a good listener. The first person mentioned that it's important to listen to understand and not to respond or react. They also noted that by listening actively and carefully, one can get to the heart of what the other person is expressing. The second person compared good listening to playing racquetball against the wall, rather than playing tennis. They suggested that instead of competing when listening to someone, it is important to try to relate to the other person and show that you care. Overall, the conversation highlighted the importance of being a good listener, and how it can help build meaningful relationships.

In this conversation, Dr. Lydia and Lisa discussed the importance of active listening and effective communication in order to create meaningful relationships. They discussed the example of Jesus in John 4 and James 1:9, who actively listened to people and asked them questions, allowing them to connect the dots and express themselves. They also discussed the difference between individual therapy and group therapy, emphasizing the need to build trust through active listening before appropriately self-disclosing and relating to others. Lastly, they concluded that effective communication requires one to know their audience, to speak truthfully and assertively, and to meet people exactly where they are.

Effective communication is essential for building strong relationships, and it is important to understand the purpose of a conversation in order to best respond. When speaking with friends, it can be helpful to ask: do they need to be heard or do they want advice? It is important to provide a safe and supportive space, and sometimes it is necessary to withhold certain statements in order to allow the other person to process their own emotions. This could mean not telling someone that they are wrong or that they need to apologize. Everyone has a different journey and may need different kinds of support, so it is important to be compassionate and understanding of the other person's situation.

Timestamps

0:00:00

Therapy Thursday: Developing Healthy and Deeper Relationships with Active Listening

0:02:35

Conversation on the Importance of Active Listening

0:04:34

Conversation on Active Listening and Effective Communication

0:11:17

Conversation on Effective Communication for Building Stronger Relationships

0:12:31

Conversation on Communication, Relationship Building, and Emotional Intelligence

0:14:41

"Growing in Emotional Intelligence: A Conversation with Kenneth Sands"

0:18:43

"Developing Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness, Others-Awareness, and God-Awareness"

0:20:37

Conversation on Coping with Emotional Distress

0:22:24

Topic: Forgiveness and Empathy as Coping Skills

0:25:56

Heading: Empathy and Compassion: A Conversation on Jesus' Teachings

0:27:34

Conversation on Empathy and Building Friendships

0:29:25

Conversation on Emotional and Spiritual Growth: Combining Biblical and Therapeutic Perspectives

0:31:11

Conversation Summary: Building Healthy Relationships with God and Others

Highlights

I think that a really good way to forgive other people is using number five, which is empathy. I think sometimes when we're thinking about forgiveness, we're looking at it from our point of view as from being hurt. But sometimes if we are able to step in other people's shoes and see where they're coming from, then we use understanding, which is also one of the fruits of the spirit. And it leads to empathy.. Because if you understand where a person's coming from, then you go, okay, well, I can see why, and you connect their dots. I can see why they said this. And in that context, in that place, I wouldn't do it that way, but I could see why they came across that way, and then it's almost a little bit easier to chew on and forgive. Empathy is very important.

Wow, what an example to all of us. Because Jesus forgave the woman called an adultery in John eight, he prayed for his persecutors in Luke 23 34, and he also taught his disciples to forgive 77 times, Matthew 18. So Jesus not only forgave us, he modeled forgiveness, and then he enables and empowers us to forgive others. So if you're struggling with forgiveness, I challenge you, write it on your calendar every day.. Talk to Jesus about forgiveness. Lord, help me forgive. Soften my heart. If you're holding a grudge against somebody, talk to God about it. Because, friend, you can experience freedom and joy, and while you're carrying around that burden, you cannot receive what God has for you.

Well, he gave a great example. He modeled forgiveness in our lives, in his life, and he gave a great example by modeling forgiveness in his life and in his teaching. And he read he taught in Colossians 313. Bear with one another and forgive with one another. If any of you have a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. If you're struggling to forgive, remember that God has forgiven you.. God has forgiven you. And we're called to be vessels, so as we receive, we also extend. And I love what Lisa Turquest has to say about this. She writes down on a piece of paper everything she needs to forgive. She goes down one by one, talks to god about it. When she gets to one she cannot forgive, she says, I cannot forgive you, but through the blood of Christ, you are forgiven. And so, out of obedience, I choose to forgive you even if my emotions don't align.

And also learning to recognize your triggers. We talked about halt but emotional distress. If you're going into a situation where you're expecting the worst, well, then I encourage you to pray and journal, seek counseling, and respond in a way that aligns with your values. So what if you wrote that verse on a piece of paper from Galatians and read it every morning on your mirror, and then write three values that you want to hold true to in your life kindness, empathy and love. Those are my values this week.

You always refer to the fruit of the Spirit, and the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. And so in a Christian's lives, we learn to regulate our emotions by aligning them with God's word. And maybe you need to print that out and read that every day and ask God to help you to exhibit those things. And then at the end of the day, have a talk with him, how did I do? And how can I do better?